Sex therapists are often asked for specific tips or tricks people can use to make them "good in bed." The anxiety over whether or not one qualifies as a good lover can be enough to suffocate sexual desire. The truth is that it takes two people to create a great sex, not just one. Furthermore, one of the most important factors in determining whether or not a sexual encounter is considered great is the excitement leading up to it; not just the act of sex itself.

Still, people continue to allow themselves to get hung up on this notion of being a skilled lover. Some people think that learning special sexual maneuvers will make all the difference. But remember, every person is different. What pleases and excites one partner might get you slapped by another. Also be careful of falling victim to "shortcuts" or "enhancers" such as things like penis pumps.

The idea that a bigger penis will make you a better lover is not exactly a valid notion. Further if you are dating someone who is not satisfied with your penis size, what it ocmes down to is that they are not satisfied with you, and more than likely you should probably just move on.

The key is to make it personal. Imagine having sex with somebody who performed as though he or she learned every move from a playbook, and had practiced it many times before. It’s not very romantic to come to the conclusion that your partner is putting on a rehearsed performance, rather than focusing on the moment with you.

When it comes to sex, as with most other things in life, practice makes perfect. The more opportunities you have to explore your partner’s body—as well as your own—the more likely you are to discover new ways to please and excite each other. It is chemistry and compassion, not pure skill, that add up to great sex.